


Knockin' on Probability's Door

by Aeon_Warden



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Cyberverse
Genre: M/M, Multi, Plot-Driven, generally fluffy, rarely angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeon_Warden/pseuds/Aeon_Warden
Summary: Millions of years passed and the civil war is finally over. Soundwave and Hot Rod from Cyberverse set on a journey for their long-awaited honeymoon, only to find that they came across Ratchet and Drift from IDW Generation One...who were on their honeymoon trip as well. With one unexpected accident after another, it seemed they were going off the course from their primary destination—Milliways, namely, the restaurant at the end of the universe. Their pleasant space comedy just started to be brimming with more and more suspenses...
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet, Hot Rod/Soundwave (Transformers)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Knockin' on Probability's Door

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Knockin' on Probability's Door | 概率之扉](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26762626) by [Aeon_Warden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeon_Warden/pseuds/Aeon_Warden). 



> A humble homage to Shinichirō Watanabe, Douglas Adams and Alan Moore.  
> There are differences in tags and warnings between the English and the Chinese version because chapter one is merely a prologue, and more characters are expected show up as the plot proceeds. I'll try to catch up with the latest update as fast as I can!  
> Recommended BGM: Seatbelts - Tank!

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.  
― Douglas Adams, _The Restaurant at the End of the Universe_

1  
"Life is a cluster of desires. Unsatisfied desires produce pain; while once our needs are gratified, we feel bored instead. Hence life swings like pendulum to and fro between pain and boredom."[1]  
Such statement came from a genteel lecturer, standing on the podium during a History of Pan-galactic Philosophy session, in an afternoon some four million years ago at the Autobot Academy. Nevertheless, those words slipped into Hot Rod's audio receiver, and through his random access memory, without leaving a single trace.  
Hot Rod had his own framework of theories on that question. Cybertronians, unlike most of the species in the universe, are agamogenetic, which implies they are not bound to all the fuss of courtship, coitus or reproduction. If we believe the genesis of life has its meaning, it would probably sound too hackneyed, or even too Functionist ("everyone's life serves a purpose" of sorts); he'd rather say that each Cybetronian has been searching for his or her meaning, since the moment their spark was lit.  
That's why Hot Rod never feels bored. He is either going on an adventure, or on his way to an adventure.

Funny how time flies. Four million years passed by like a flicker, and Hot Rod became an instructor of the Autobot Academy himself – only that the concepts of Autobot and Decepticon had ceased to exist since the war is over, and the Autobot Academy has changed its name to "the Iacon Academy" as a consequence.  
In an idle afternoon similar to the one aforementioned, Hot Rod sits in his office, pondering. Tons of data pads are piling up like a mountain before him, but he doesn't feel in the mood to check up students' quizzes. There is one thing he has been postponing for too long. As the reconstruction of Cybertron came to a satisfying end, Hot Rod and Soundwave finally has the time for their long-awaited honeymoon trip; however, neither of them has an idea of where to go and what to do so far. Tapping his digit on the desktop, the scarlet speedster opened _the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ again – at least it will tell you with those giant and friendly words on the cover, "DON'T PANIC".  
Many regard the Guide as a remarkable, unprecedented encyclopedia ever to come out across the entire universe, and surely it is a highly successful one – more popular than the _Celestial Home Care Omnibus_ , better selling than _Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity_ , and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's philosophical blockbuster _Where God Went Wrong_... Well, having delved into it for two weeks, Hot Rod still thinks it's nothing more than a specious tourist guide. He has to admit, even regardless of the consumerism that lies behind, it is merely an epitome of how carefree the lifestyle of most species in the galaxy has been: if anything goes beyond their limited range of knowledge, it will be recommended as a "stunning scenery". Leaning his head on one of his servos, Hot Rod flips through the pages, and vents out a sigh of disappointment. He is just preparing to end this fruitless search as usual, before being captured by something on another page.  
"Hey Soundwave," he patches through his conjunx endura's internal commlink right away, "Have you got any plans for our honeymoon? What about the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?"  
"So you're suggesting the Milliways? Sounds nice." His reply leaves Hot Rod overjoyed. Afterall, this ex-Decepticon-Communications-Officer is famous for being fastidiously indifferent to almost anything (except music and Hot Rod perhaps).  
"Don't want to pour cold water on that idea, but the Milliways literally locates at the end of space and time, protected in a vast time bubble, and can only be reached via special means like Infinite Improbability Drive... Yet as you know, such techs are not that easy to find."  
"Rest assured! I'll be handling it."  
Hot Rod winks at Soundwave in his HUD and then hangs up. Assuming this is just another kick in his little speedster's gallop, Soundwave refocuses on his work and forgets about it all.  
Until six days later, Hot Rod picks up Soundwave after work, showing him a spaceship – no, not A spaceship, but the legendary Heart of Gold – parking almost blatantly in front of the gate.

2  
Theoretically, the Infinite Improbability Drive can bring them anywhere anytime with a simple thought; despite the fact that few in the entire galaxy can truly figure out its underlying theories. A technology being too erratic and too convenient at the same time like this will usually raise Soundwave's suspicion, not to mention that it is powered by probability – the most unpredictable, most mischievous devil ever to exist in this universe. While Soundwave is still perusing the safety instructions, Hot Rod has already set up the destination.  
"Hold on,"said Soundwave, pointing to a small line of text on the datapad, "it says when two Infinite Improbability Drives start up simultaneously, there will be a risk of them crushing into each other whatever the relative distance may be..."  
"At what odds?"Hot Rod comes closer, and even so he has to squint his optics to see it clearly. "Ten...to the minus fourteenth power? Huh, it's far smaller than the probability of you racing on the street and being hit by Starscream's ghost."  
Hot Rod presses the engine's switch. Soundwave cannot explain why there's a bad feeling lingering in his processor, and why it comes true in such a haste. Everything around them appears to be lengthened, and then shortened. The blinding white lasts for approximately two seconds, before the navigation system on the Heart of Gold reports that they have reached the destination. To their surprise, Soundwave and Hot Rod find nothing related to either the magnificent heat death of the universe or the Milliways that streches out like a massive pentagram in the enticing darkness. They see only space...deep, black, and boudless space surrounding them as a pond of still water.  
"Look out!" Soundwave shouted.  
Suddenly an unidentified flying object emerges in front of them, just a stone's throw away. But if Hot Rod cannot steer the wheel and manage to evade in the nick of time, he'd better stop bragging about his pilot skills. In the end the two spaceships nearly brushes past each other, less than a meter apart. Having glimpsed through the porthole into the other ship, Hot Rod and Soundwave exchanges a confused look.  
It's another Heart of Gold.

3  
When the communication with the other spaceship is established, the sight on the screen just makes Hot Rod's jaw drop even more. He pokes Soundwave, "Uh, remember the ghost thing I mentioned before we left?"  
"Of course," the blue mech replies without thinking, "In fact, it hasn't been thirty seconds since you uttered that sentence."  
"...And now we're actually in face of a ghost!"  
He is referring to Drift on the communication deck's screen - he stood witness to that traitor's death! But the little red speedster doesn't seem horrified at all, instead, he can't be more gleeful: "My prophecy was right! Once again! Do you know what that indicates, Soundwave?"  
"What?" Soundwave tilts his head. His sparkmate's mind is at constant jump-starting like a petro-rabbit, and he has learnt to take it in stride, and even improvise on it.  
"I've just discovered a law: if something bad is likely to happen, then it's bound to happen, no matter how small the probability is. I'm going to name it the Hot Rod's Law!"  
"Unfortunately, some Earthling called Edward Murphy got ahead of you."  
Meanwhile, the two passengers on the other Heart of Gold, are perplexed by what they just came across. Drift looks around for the ghost that Hot Rod mentioned, while Ratchet scoffs at it, arguing that the so-called supernatural beings are all made up to scare the sparklings.  
"So, Drift–"  
Upon hearing Hot Rod's call, the white speedster is still lost in thought due to the overwhelmingly bizarre scene in front of them. However, Hot Rod soon drags him back to reality with a succession of questions.  
"How did you survive?"  
"How come you end up with Ratchet?"  
"And, how did you get _your_ Heart of Gold?"

4  
"The story has two versions," Drift raises his eyebrow, "a longer one and a shorter one."  
"The short one." Soundwave and Hot Rod demand in unison.  
"Above all, allow me to point out that your first question is invalid," Ratchet grasps Drift's shoulders, seemingly demonstrating his speedster being tangible and palpable, "Drift is no ghost. As you can see, alive and kicking."  
"Although it was quite close at that time in Delphi." Drift smiles smoothly to Ratchet's hug, "But how fortunate I am to have the universe's best medic as my conjunx endura?"  
"Seems this won't be a short conversation." Soundwave gestures to Hot Rod as he leaves to grab some energon coke. "All right," Hot Break nods at him, then turns back to the screen, "time for the second question now."  
"About that," Drift grins and asks rhetorically, "why are you with Soundwave?"  
Hot Rod's processor runs rapidly as he tries to think of a proper answer to this question. "Because we're on our honeymoon trip! As for what happened before that...in short, when the Quintesson war ends we came to realize that we were a such match for each other, so we tried dating after the truce, and then..."  
"We became sparkmates." Soundwave emerges from the shadow behind the door, holding two cans of energon coke in his servos and hands one to Hot Rod. He doesn't seem to have missed any information of the conversation despite he was gone for several minutes, apparently. And Hot Rod realizes the reason why the moment he notices Laserbeak perching on the screen's upper verge.  
Drift deems it unbelievable: "But in our world, you two hardly ever cross paths..."  
"Nothing to make a fuss about," Ratchet shows a contemplative look, "maybe that explains why he and Megatron are constantly casting sheep's eyes at each other. Rodimus might possesses a special, undisclosed fetish for Decepticons, or at least ex-cons."  
"But I'm an ex-con as well." Drift reminds.  
"Wait, who's Rodimus?" Hot Rod interrupts their increasingly perplexing discussion.  
"It's you." Drift snaps his digits, "to be precise, Rodimus is who you are going to become after you get the Matrix of Leadership."  
Hot Rod is trying his best to not let a mouthful of energon coke squander on the screen. For a moment he doesn't know which piece of information is more groundbreaking, whether he - well, he in a parallel universe – could be chosen by the Matrix of Leadership for real, or that he could have a crush on Megatron...perhaps also for real.  
"But in fact, fraternization is no big news these days, or should we say, all the days." Drift eyes Ratchet, slightly embarrassed, "after all Soundwave is also having some business with Optimus Prime..."  
"...Optimus Prime?"  
Sounwave, gripping a can of energon coke, hears a cracking sound from his servo. Ratchet refutes with a shake of his head: "No, what he meant was you two remain a dubious relationship, only that everyone thinks there's something between–"  
"But that's okay," Drift interposes to stop this situation from getting even more inexplicable, "anyway you ended up...well..."  
"...Deceased." Ratchet speaks for Drift the exact word that had him stucked; the medics are accustomed to topics as such. Life and death lies within a only single incision of the scalpel. What surprises him is Soundwave's unusual composure. "Then we're even, I guess You and I -" he gestures to Drift, "are both ghosts of the past in our separate worlds."  
"Eureka!" all of a sudden, Hot Rod just slams the silver can down on the comunnication deck, "there are infinite probabilities in countless parallel universes, and in only a very few of which, if not only one, did Soundwave and I become sparkmates. The same goes for you and Ratchet; you two don't even speak to each other very often in my world. Doesn't it just proves our relationships are both something unique and irreplaceable?"  
"Makes sense," Drift nods with a smile, "and this unexpected encounter can also represent a meaning. Come to think of it, we're hit by a propability as small as the minus fourteenth power of ten!"  
Hot Rod and Drift then begins to chat about their special mutual connection, the quantum entanglement across universes, while on the other hand, Soundwave notices an abnormal on the radar. It displays signs of massive hyperspace transportation nearby, with energy signatures of dozens of spacecrafts appearing out of nowhere, at almost the same moment. But who would go to such great lengths just to teleport to this barren space in the cold, silent void? Unless...  
"Activate the shields. Someone is coming at us."  
In Soundwave's lowered timbre, there's a chill that sends shiver from Hot Rod's fingertip to his back wheels. He is speaking in a Decepticon commander's manner again: and in a peacetime like this, it won't mean anything good.

To be continued.

**Author's Note:**

> [1]This line is a mixture of Arthur Schopenhauer's multiple quotes.


End file.
